There are always going to be some disappointing reactions coming out of the Oscars, and yes, even some outrage (shocking, I know). I always find it fascinating to see just who is outraged about this profoundly subjective award show, and I can’t say I’m ever surprised. This year has, however, yielded one of the most hilariously cringeworthy reactions I think I’ve ever seen, and it’s coming from a crazy, comic-book loving, hillbilly, too!

YouTuber Robert Storms jumps out to an early lead in the race for Dumbest Video of the Year with his 5-minute tirade over Parasite taking home Best Picture at the 92nd Academy Awards. Again, I always find it funny to see just how many people, who probably couldn’t care less about the Oscars until they actually happen, go absolutely berserk over such a subjective topic. People like good ol’ Rob here are the folks that have absolutely no idea how the Academy works (or any award show for that matter), nor have they seen all of the movies nominated. They only see big, tent-pole franchise films, and they go into the Oscars expecting their favorite comic book movie to clean house. Yes, Joker was an incredible movie, one of the very best of the year, but you know what? There were actually many other fantastic films this year, Parasite included. So let’s break down this painfully dumb and polemic rant and refute a few of Rob’s big-brain points.

“It already won best interneational film, why is it allowed to be nominated for best picture?”

This is an easy one, actually, because movies are allowed to be nominated for multiple awards. For example, his clear bais- I mean favorite film, Joker, was nominated for 11 awards. Parasite, a movie that also came out in 2019, is able to be nominated for other awards as well. Now, there’s more to his point than I’m leading on, albeit no more intelligent, but it’s actually a point that I’ve surprisingly heard a lot recently.

“We (Americans) don’t have two chances to win…”

This is actually quite funny because he goes on to list films such as Joker, 1917 (a British Film, by the way), Ford v Ferrari, and A Marriage Story, saying that they “didn’t have two chances to win an Oscar.” Yet every single one of those films was nominated for multiple awards. I have NO idea what he’s getting at here…

“It’s not like we have Best Picture and Best United States Film.”

His impression of the Best International Film (formerly Best Foreign Language Film, as he still calls it) is that this is the “Best Picture equivalent” for international films. Once an international film is nominated for that, that’s it. It has reached its pinnacle. Of course, this is not true, but many people seem to believe this because the Oscars are an “American show.” What people don’t seem to realize is that the Academy has been nominating foreign films for other categories outside of Best International for decades. Amélie (2001) was nominated for 5 Academy Awards, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000) for 4, Life is Beautiful (1997) for 8, Z (1969) for 5, and the list goes on and on.

Rob’s logic is that American films have a disadvantage in that they are unable to compete for Best International Film, or in his mind, “two Best Pictures.” Therefore, foreign films should not be able to compete for the actual Best Picture category. What he fails to realize is that American films generally take home the most nominations and wins almost every single year. So, if there is a disadvantage, American films have never seemed to feel it.

My main point here is that the Oscars have always been about celebrating the best achievements in filmmaking each year. They have never been about celebrating the best achievements in American filmmaking. This kind of leads us to his next statement…

“How many people, in the United States of mother f***ing America, have seen the movie Parasite”

The easy refute is stated in the paragraph above, but, beyond that, what the hell does that have to do with how great a movie is? What does that have to do with the quality of a story? What does that have to do with how well a film was directed? By this logic, every blockbuster movie that breaks the bank is automatically the best movie of the year. That includes all of the Transformers movies, all of the Star Wars movies, and every Marvel movie. Judging by his channel (see below), it wouldn’t surprise me if this is what he believes.

I would encourage you, Rob, to ask people from the younger generation (or yourself for that matter) if they’ve seen The Godfather, Citizen Kane, Shawshank Redemption, Lawrence of Arabia, or Schindler’s List and then apply the same logic you’re using to Parasite. Box office success and popularity do not equal quality. Parasite is more than deserving of Best Picture, and since it’s win, screenings of the film have increased 400%. It is still sitting at a 92% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes. Sorry bud, but your mental gymnastics do not apply here.

“I don’t know what Parasite is…I dont give a sh*t…because it’s a God-d*mned foreign film.”

What a shocker. Funny how every negative comment about Parasite seems to come from the people who haven’t seen it yet. Everyone I’ve ever talked to who actually has seen it has not said a single poor thing about it. Now, at the time of me posting this, it would appear that he did go and watch it (good for him), but judging by the thumbnail of that video, he probably wrote his review before he stepped into the theater.

This rant, however, was posted before he saw even saw the film, so I really shouldn’t have to go any further than this to refute his arguments. *sigh* There’s still more to this video though, so let’s press on.

“What is more important to American culture than Joker…a movie that talks about mental illness not being taken serious…about how people in high places look down upon the poor…”

If you had taken the time to watch Parasite before screaming like a baboon on YouTube about it, Rob, you’d know that the film is about everything you just mentioned about Joker. The only difference is that Parasite was written and directed at a much higher level, and I say that as someone who loved Joker.

“Let’s have a better ‘woke’ agenda, and let’s go ‘full f***ing woke’ and give Parasite Best Picture.”

Normally I’d have to agree with Rob here. The past few years have had their fair share of “woke” nominations and wins, as well as enough “woke” speeches and moments to make me stop watching my favorite awards ceremony of the year. Like I mentioned in my Oscar Picks, this last show was the first time I had watched it in 3 years. I even made a few picks on my ballot that went against what I preferred/wanted to win because I assumed the Academy would make a “woke” choice. Here’s the thing though: they never did. The Academy got every single win right, which is genuinely astonishing. It’s even more surprising considering that this was one of the best years of the decade at the cinema. There were no upsets, there were no “woke” picks. Everyone that won truly deserved it.

I can’t figure out why Rob says Parasite is the “woke” choice of the year in the first place. You’d think that a guy, who apparently despises the Hollywood elite (he eloquently says, “pat your f***ing woke-ass self on the f***ing back, Academy”), would be happy to see a non-Hollywood film beat all the Hollywood elite! Bong Joon Ho was also one of the very few who gave political agenda-free speeches. His were all very genuine and humble (easily the best of the night). What is there not to love about this win?

He also decides to fight a political and “woke” agenda with the political agenda of Joker. So which one is it, Rob? You can’t play it both ways, bud. Again with the absurd mental gymnastics…

“This is f***ing ludicrous, this is f***ing asinine, I can’t believe this sh*t!”

I guess I’d be upset too if the film I created a narrative for in my own head (because I haven’t seen it yet) beat the film I actually wanted to win. The only thing ludicrous and asinine is his extreme overreaction to something he probably couldn’t care less about 95% of the year.

“I wanted Joker to win, but it could’ve been any f***ing film…I dont care…you guys could’ve given it to Shazam!”

Well, clearly he does care, because otherwise we wouldn’t be here talking about him going bananas on the internet. I can understand that the guy who has comic tins all over his wall wanted Joker to win, but, again, he clearly wasn’t following what was going on leading into the ceremony. Why would he? He’s clearly not the type to know that the race was always between Parasite and 1917. There’s no way he knew there was nothing pointing towards Joker winning anything besides Lead Actor and Score. Rob read the headline “Joker leads Oscar nominations with 11″ on a random article and assumed that it would join the likes of The Return of the King, Titanic, and Ben Hur as all-time leader in wins.

Just in case you really couldn’t tell that Rob is bitter about this “outrageous snub”, he states that Shazam could’ve won instead and he’d still be okay with that…let that sink in…

“Why can’t the best movie win Best Picture?”

It did Rob, you just didn’t see it.

Rob goes on to restate a few of the points, screeching and shaking his fist once more about how an international movie shouldn’t qualify for any other awards. He even ironically mentions 1917 again, still totally oblivious to the fact that it’s a British film. Yada yada yadaaaa and we’re done. Whew!

And there you have it! One of the most profoundly childish, misguided, and unintelligible rants about the Oscars I’ve probably ever seen. I’ve never witnessed someone get so incredibly upset about a movie they’ve haven’t watched winning at a ceremony that they clearly don’t understand. I think the saddest part of this is that he’s now completely ruined this film for himself for no reason at all. I know for a fact that he went into his screening with his mind made up and blood pressure through the roof.

Anyway, if you guys really want to watch a grown man yell and punch his way through the topic for yourself, here’s the video. It’s currently sitting at an impressive 1.2k likes to 61k dislike ratio. Can’t imagine why. See ya, folks!